Feeling the Burn

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I don’t particularly enjoy exercise. I’m not a gym bunny, or someone who eagerly looks for extra classes to “feel the burn”. I exercise simply because I want to be healthy for my two children (aged 2 and 6) and have the energy to keep up with them (both relatively virtuous reasons), but also because at the age of 40, vanity is becoming more of an issue (not so virtuous)!

I attend a fitness class at the same time as my daughter goes to gymnastics. As she bounds into her class downstairs, I trudge up the stairs of doom to attend mine. I don’t share my misgivings with my little girl but inside I’m like a petulant teenager who is being forced to attend some grim extended family event, when she’d rather be hanging out with her friends.

 

Nevertheless, with heavy heart and even heavier legs, I go.

 

JP, our fitness instructor is like a machine. He is ripped, tight, lean….…bear with me readers, this post isn’t about to turn into some middle aged lust fest……because that’s where the machine analogy ends. He doesn’t see the people in his class as bodies to be sculpted, but lives to be made better. Week in, week out, he talks through the best way to keep fit in body and mind, talks through the exercises with such enthusiasm, encourages us to raise our own personal bars, demonstrates how we can use really small spaces at home to replicate the same exercises so we can continue our training regime throughout the week.…all very nice.

 

I still hated it.

 

Up until last night, that is.

 

Last night, something clicked. A couple of the women were chatting throughout the exercises, making off the cuff remarks and I was laughing along with them as I was doing my lunges and squat thrusts.

 

JP started talking about the class as we continued to exercise. “It’s one hour of your week, that’s all. You can talk about your weekends and your families before or after the class. One hour. That’s all I’m asking of you to focus and push. I can show you how to make the exercises harder. I can show you how to make them easier. The only option I’m not giving you is to stop. Nothing in life can be achieved through giving up at the first hurdle, or when it hurts a little. Yes, you’re tired. Yes, your muscles are beginning to feel fatigued. But I’m here to help you work with that in a good way so your bodies respond positively. You can be tired in life, but there are always ways to make life better. You can make life go faster, or slower, but there is no option to stop – except a very extreme option of course! In this hour, you don’t need to worry about mortgages, or spreadsheets, or what is going on at home – this is about focused attention. On what is going on within you. On stretching yourselves beyond what you believed possible. I will not let you be unsafe but I will encourage you to dig deep and do what is necessary to surprise yourselves.”

 

And in that moment, everything changed. I thought – this is exactly what I teach! Why hadn’t I made that connection before? My whole life and business is around helping people get better in their lives, their work, their focus, their approach and yet I’d never applied that same thinking to me and my exercise!

 

Here was a man who totally believed in his message (so do I); who passionately wanted to help other people achieve more (so do I) and who wanted them to challenge their own personal boundaries and beliefs (so do I).

 

In that moment, I became super focused. Good grief, it still hurt. I was POURING with sweat (sorry for that picture!) but I kept going. I would not give up. I pushed on through, keeping focused on JP’s instruction and what I needed to do. I felt fantastic. Sore, aching, but fantastic. And JP was super encouraging – he noticed my effort and the focus. As one of my personal core values is to recognise when others are really trying, that meant a lot.

 

I’m actually looking forward to next week’s class. Life can be made harder or easier, faster or slower, but there is no option to stop. So what needs to happen for YOU to feel the burn and push through what life is throwing at you? Anything I can help you with? I'd love to hear your comments or challenges!

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Always Wear Sunscreen

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Driving along in the car yesterday the 1999 song by Baz Luhrmann "Sunscreen" came on. It was quirky then and it's still quirky now, but as I listened to the lyrics I thought – WOW. These words are PHENOMENAL. I wish I'd written them myself! There are just so many great little points and nuggets of wisdom in here that I thought – I need to share! So here are the full lyrics reproduced. What do YOU think?

 

 

"Sunscreen" By Baz Luhrmann

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth…. oh never mind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….you’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy.

Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on.

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…

Wow! Isn't it great? And it got me thinking….if you had to add just one more sentence, what would it be? Let me know!

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What REALLY Motivates Us?

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Given that I adore helping people to be the best they can be at work and encouraging them to enable others to do the same, the whole subject of motivation has long fascinated me.

Give one person a bells and whistles recognition party – she loves it. Give the same thing to another guy and he wants to crawl under a stone. Because that's not how he's wired.

So often businesses spend an inordinate amount of time creating wonderful rewards packages and yes – some of them ARE great. Yet so many of them seem to miss the mark. Plus there are a whole heap of other businesses and leaders who still continue to lead through intimidation and believe that fear (however they like to package it up) is the best way of getting people to toe the line.

But I want so much more than people just toeing the line. That's compliance. That's ticking a box. I want people enjoying their time at work, engaged in what they're doing, contributing meaningfully to the business, their colleagues around them, their customers. Because – let's be honest – we spend far more time at work than we do anywhere else! I think it's criminal for people to be dragging their heels because they're disengaged, demotivated, or have lost their mojo.

That's why I love – and completely buy into – Daniel Pink's "surprising truth about what motivates us". Through lots of practical, grounded research, he found the three key components necessary for people to truly feel inspired and motivated by what they do. They are:

  • Autonomy
  • Mastery
  • Purpose

Take a look at this 10 minute video, where Dan talks through these key principles. It's highly engaging – fabulous visuals to stimulate the senses. But listen to some of the examples he gives, too, and see what ideas they conjure up for you……. 

 

 

As Howard Thurman once said, "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

How could you help create that for your people? How could you increase the autonomy, mastery and purpose for your people? And if you work for yourself, how can you get better connected with each of these principles? They are there for the taking – I believe that as we get more people connected with these types of principles, their work life is going to be better, which leads to a more satisfying personal life too and the world is just a better place for people being engaged like that. That certainly motivates me.

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Making a Difference, or Making a Point?

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This is a post I've been mulling over for a few days. It's been really difficult to articulate because on the one hand it feels very self righteous, but on the other, I really feel it needs to be said! I guess the judge of how it comes across is the person reading it – i.e. YOU!

We've all got unique gifts and skills. Whether that's cutting through a complicated process to find a simple solution; being a great listener; an inspiring role model in business; identifying opportunities which others don't see; being an amazing administrator, the ability to lead a group of very different people and personalities to success……

What you can do, someone else may struggle to achieve and vice versa. And that's how the world goes round and that's how we contribute to the world and how we gain in return.

At the last count, I'm completely useless at 4,376,897,982,678 things and have a gift in about 3! (And that's fine – really).

The stuff I am good at I use to help others and yes, that's what my business is essentially based on. But it's also a personal drive, too. I love the feeling of helping people move from being stuck to moving forwards. Do I benefit financially? Yes, a lot of the time. But I also benefit from seeing people revitalised, re-energised, fired up and ready to tackle life with a whole new perspective. For me, that's priceless. I love, love, LOVE it. And of course, often I get thanks and praise from people publicly who I've helped, because they're grateful. Which is lovely!

In a nutshell, I thrive on adding value, educating, inspiring and making a difference in the lives of others. It's my soul food :) And yes – let's tell it how it is – it's also great to be paid for that, too!

However, recently I've seen others in similar privileged positions to me who seem to have the priority of ensuring their own personal glory and status is recognised. They have a need to be seen as THE one who made a difference, or provided a breakthrough, or increased the success of someone else. They want to make the point that without their help or intervention, Person A would never be where they are now. All hail the guru for providing the breakthrough experience!

It's fab receiving feedback publicly for the work I've done. And of course I use it to demonstrate to others what I can do. I guess I'd just like to see a little more humility and little less self interest from some of the hotshots out there. If we all focus on making a difference, rather than making a point about our talents, that in itself is a great point we're all making, right? 

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Choice and Circumstance

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Spring is the time for new life, for sowing seeds and for spring cleaning. Whereas we tend to turn our attention to things such as our homes, our files, our diaries, our gardens, it is just as important to sow fresh seeds in our life and minds. Get the dust out, the cobwebs, the negative self talk – a spring clean of our minds! In doing so, we approach this spring – and indeed the rest of the year – with a real sense of hope and a real sense of desire and a real sense of ‘this is going to be a positive, productive and fruitful time.’ I really hope that you’re up for that. I certainly am :)

What triggered this post was a quote I recently came across from George Bernard Shaw: "People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want and if they can’t find them, make them."

Wow. Now that could have been said by any motivational speaker/coach today, but this came from a book written by George Bernard Shaw in the nineteenth century. I love that the wisdom of it still rings true today. 

In order to get the best out of ourselves – and inspire others to do the same – we need to look at where we're at and how we're responding to where that is, irrespective of the circumstances around us. Are we applying ourselves in the best possible way? Or resigning ourselves to the "fact" we cannot change the circumstances we're in?  In order to maximise our potential in any situation, good or bad, we must look at how to apply ourselves in the best possible way so we became the success story in the situation.

Although we can all find ourselves in situations we wouldn't necessarily choose, the choice we do have is in how we respond to those situations.

How are you responding?

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