The Rocking Chair Test

In order to really succeed with your goals, you not only need to take action, but feel motivated to do so. Very often, even what initially sounded like a great goal can lose its edge. Here’s some ideas to get you reconnected with your goals, re-energised and raring to go on your actions!

 

 

Take 2 of your business goals and 1 personal goal. It doesn’t matter whether you’re highly motivated to achieve them or need to re-engage – just choose the ones you’d love to kickstart!

Write a paragraph about them, as if you were selling the outstanding benefits of achieving these to someone else, to inspire them. Why are they so amazing? What would you gain by having achieved them in your life? What will having them enable you to do? How will it make you feel/ make others around you feel? By doing this with even the most mundane of tasks or targets, you can start to change your perception of them. Which in turn starts to awaken your curiosity as you look to finding ways of achieving them!

Now write down the first action you will take to move towards each of them in the next 24 hours. The power, the absolute energy of making any goal work is to take action immediately on it. I have a saying – never leave a place of learning without taking action. So if you’ve learned something so far in this exercise, identify what you need to do to take action on that!

 Do 'the rocking chair' test. Close your eyes and imagine you're 95 years old, sitting in a rocking chair, looking back at what you achieved in your life and in particular, these goals. How would you feel had you not taken action, had not done what you said you were going to do?

Now, some of you may be thinking – I can honestly say I would not be thinking about these goals in my rocking chair! It was only about decorating the spare room! Or getting another 5 clients by the end of the month. Big deal! But think of it like a domino effect. If you hadn't pushed that first domino (or taken that first action step), you might not have met one of the best clients you ever had. Which may have led to you being recommended for promotion. Which may have led to you enjoying that so much, you looked for the next challenge. Which may have led to you moving to another company, or growing your business. Which may have led you to be able to take that trip of a lifetime/pay off your mortgage early/buy your dream home/travel more/anything that you'd only previously dreamed of.

Get the picture? Every action you take (or don't take) in your life has a direct consequence later on in your life! So go back to that rocking chair. Now imagine looking back at your life and viewing yourself as a person of purpose, of action, of always looking for those small steps to take to move forward. How far away from that image are you now? What steps do you need to take to move closer to that reality?

 

Identify the steps – commit to taking them – take action! 

Small Steps Take Us the Greatest Distance

When babies learn to walk, we congratulate every tiny step, every courageous wobble. We cheer all those tiny pieces of progress they make… Isn’t it funny how we don’t give ourselves that same encouragement and support. Just because we’re “officially” grown up (and I reserve the right to be a big kid whenever I want!), we set ourselves mammoth tasks to achieve and then get disheartened when progress is slow!

The more I work with people who show a desire in "getting better" (whether that's to be better in dealing with a challenging situation, better at leading others, better at dealing with difficult people), the more I have seen that grand gestures very rarely make the difference that lasts. It is those small steps - in and amongst the wobbles but constantly focused on "getting better" – which lead to sustained, meaningful change.

Here's the trouble with people like me. I run events, workshops and seminars where I'm delighted to say I get people motivated, fired up and ready for change. I have testimonials and videos and emails from people who leave feeling they've had a real awakening and are going off to rock their worlds! Yay! LOVE that!

But what can sometimes happen after people attend an event, or a teleseminar, or read a self help book is they have the rush…..and then the comedown. Within a couple of weeks they think to themselves – "I'm no further forward. Nothing's changed. That course/book/expert isn't all it's cracked up to be. This stuff DOESN'T WORK." (Ever experienced that? Be honest!)

Being positive and focused on this stuff for one day or one week won’t do it. Doing twenty push ups a day isn’t going to give you a washboard stomach overnight (more’s the pity – sheesh). You’ve got to keep doing it, putting the effort and energy in – and only then will you start to see a return and some big changes in your life that you didn’t even notice happening at the time.

This is where a bit of patience comes in. You all know the principle of sowing and reaping, I’m sure. You reap the harvest after you’ve done the work. You dig the soil, plant the seeds, water the seeds (effort), wait a while (patience) and then you reap your harvest. Effort + patience = results/reward.

In this day and age, this principle is lost on people. We’ve lost the art of patience. So people ask – “If I plant my seeds today and put the work in, what do I get tomorrow?” And of course the answer is – wet seeds! Instant results are so rarely seen – we need to put in the consistent small action steps in order to see our results.

You don’t eat a meal in one gulp, you eat it one mouthful at a time. It’s exactly the same with these actions. Pick something small – it may even seem insignificant – that you can work on. Get it into your skin and into your psyche. Then choose something else and do the same. Keep chipping away over a period of time and you’ll be surprised at how all those little steps and actions add up. 

With small, simple actions, no effort is wasted.

Whenever you try any action at first, it can seem as if you’re putting in loads of effort for very little return. Keep persevering, because all those actions and small steps added together and layered on top of one another will bring you the progress and the difference you’ve been seeking in your chosen area.

OVER TO YOU: Tell me – when has taking regular small steps and perseverance made a difference in your life? I'd love to hear!

 

Action or Accept

Do you ever have one of those days where everything within your life seems frustrating? Something that needs finishing, or improving, or removing, or repairing, or organizing……and the more we see of these things, the more it sucks our vitality. 



Whether you have all the time in the world or are Mr/Mrs Busy of Busyville Central, you have a choice whenever you feel yourself getting overwhelmed and demoralized by what you see around you. 



You have a choice to take Action, or Accept. 



Action


I love action takers. People who see something that needs to be done – and go do it. These people are often described as proactive.

However, being proactive is more than simply taking initiative. It means taking responsibility for our decisions, our lives and what we do – or don’t – do. 



Responsibility is the ability to respond to a situation, circumstance, project, task or issue. Highly proactive people recognize that responsibility and act on it. They don’t blame others, circumstances or anything else for the circumstances they’re in, whether good or bad. They simply respond and act positively to those circumstances, which in turn gives them empowerment to change their circumstances. 



Accept



There are many, many things happening around you and in the world over which you have absolutely no control and no influence. Now, you can sit here and grumble how unfair that is, but grumbling will change nothing, and if we’ve got time to grumble, we’ve got time to do something else far more positive and productive!

Positive people accept what they cannot change or influence and don’t allow it to negatively impact their life any more. 

Here’s a quick exercise you can do, which will allow you to identify what you can change and what you can’t.

In many ways, this exercise is the outworking of the Serenity Prayer: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”

  • Draw a large circle on a piece of paper – if using A4 or letter-sized, make the circle as wide as the paper. Then draw a slightly smaller circle in the middle of the large one
  • Identify a situation which you are currently struggling to move forward on and which is causing your frustration. Write this at the top of the sheet
  • The outer Circle is your Circle of Concern. In this outer circle, write down all things that concern (frustrate/irritate/anger) you about this situation. This is often where we leave our thinking – considering all the things which are negative, or which concern us – and keep dwelling on them! This actually prevents us from taking action and regaining control of the situation.

  • So now it’s time to focus on the inner circle – your Circle of Influence. In this circle, write down everything you can do – however small – which would positively impact the situation
  • When you’ve exhausted all your ideas, go back to the areas you’ve put on the outer circle. Find at least 3 things which you have named as a concern, which you have at least some influence over. Identify the action to take and write this down within your Circle of Influence – the inner circle.

Notice all the things you actually have control and influence over within this situation. These are the things which you can take action on. You'll probably find you actually have more than three ideas – this will stimulate some creativity about the situation for you.

Enjoy taking back some control….but more importantly, the progress you make on the situation. Because you will progress!

All of the things which are left in the Outer Circle are things which are out of your direct control and therefore you can simply accept. No point in using up any more energy, or worry, or frustration thinking about them – just accept they are what they are and focus your time and attention on taking action. Much more fun!

Getting into Flow

University of Chicago Professor Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced Cheek-sent-me-a-lie….a heck of a score in Scrabble, if nouns were permitted!!) has spent his life researching why people do what they do.  In his initial research he attached pagers to thousands of people and when they were paged, they had to write down where they were, what they were doing and how it made them feel. Once he collated his statistics, he discovered that the majority of the time, when people said they were doing something they enjoyed, they were NOT at work.

Quite rightly, this staggered Csikszentmihalyi, given that most of us spend more time at work than we do anywhere else! And if we’re enjoying it only minimally, that’s a real issue.

His studies revealed that, when people said they were really enjoying themselves, that they were “in the zone”, etc., it was attributed to one or more of the following:

 

  • Designing something new

  • Discovering something new

  • Exploring new situations/projects/tasks/roles/places

  • Solving a problem

  • Overcoming a hurdle (psychological or actual)

  • Feeling “stretched”, not “stressed”

  • Winning; a sense of achievement

All the above were linked to 2 things:

1. How much personal skill the individual felt they had in tackling the task/project/situation

2. How much of a personal challenge it was. And when the balance was just right, Csikszentmihalyi called this being in flow. Too little challenge leads to boredom. Too much challenge led to overwhelm and stress.

 

So how do WE get into flow, more of the time? Or help our team members to do so?

 

QUICK ACTION ACTIVITY

 

  1.  Identify a job/task/area of your work which you have to do, but which either bores you, or overwhelms you.

  2. Grab a pile of Post It ™ notes – you can simply write things down on a pad, but it’s more fun this way :P

  3. Set a good old kitchen timer for 2 minutes. Now, think of all the things which you could do which would make this job less stressful/more stimulating and get you more into flow when you’re completing it. For each single idea you think of, write it on a Post It ™ 

(Psst – here are some ideas to get you started!):

- Spend 30 minutes with someone who's better at it than you and interview them on how they do it

- Find a way of doing it 10 times faster than you do now, without sacrificing any of the quality. (Worst case scenraio? You'll find a way of doing it twice as fast)

- Spend $20/£10 on a resource which will make you feel better/help you in this area. Book/software/download/equipment

- Train someone else up to do it (or at least part of it)

- Identify a coach/mentor to help you work through it

And so on…..your ideas will be infinitely better than mine!

 

4.       At the end of the 2 minutes, take a look at all the ideas and options you’ve come up with to enable you to get more into flow

5.       Ditch 50% of them. Do it quickly – just trash them

6.       Go with your gut on this one – pick 3 which are tantalising you the most and you’re most curious to explore

7.       Stick them in a place where you can see them all the time you’re at work. On your wall, around your PC screen, on your desk……

8.       Within 24 hours I guarantee you’ll have discovered the means of bringing at least one of them to reality (if you really want to!)

I've used this exercise time and time again with executives, directors, managers and it never fails to help. Just think, your Flow Zone could just be a Post It ™ note away!

Stop, Start, Continue

Take a look at your diary over the past week. What has your week been filled with?

Meetings; telephone calls with customers; conference calls; training; one-to-one's; coaching; research. Then think about how you felt when you were involved with each of these. Some of this "stuff" will be contributing to you doing a great job. Some of it will be simply padding out your time, but not adding any real value. Other activities will be simply draining you from an emotional and time perspective. It's time to do an overhaul of your working week and see what can be done to energise you more – and therefore get you working on the right things! You can do this by simply breaking down your working week into three areas: Stop; Start; Continue.

STOP. These are all the actions/tasks/attitudes/viewpoints that you believe are not helpful. It could be something as simple as your attitude when gearing up for a particular meeting. Are you moaning quietly to yourself as you go to attend? Are you someone who is the "kiss of death" to any new idea that's suggested – always finding reasons for why something won't work, rather than looking for ways to make it work? Is it a task that you're doing out of habit, but it could be stopped, or delegated? Try and identify 1 or 2 of these areas from your week that you can simply stop.



START. What do you need to start doing? This could be linked to the things that you identified in the "Stop" category, such as starting to delegate or coach more. Or they could be completely different. Maybe you've identified the need to start believing in yourself a bit more. Or maybe you've identified a gap in your skills for which you need to start developing in. Or perhaps you need to start looking for the positives in a particular person whom you work with, rather than feeling really niggled by what they say and do. Try and identify 1 or 2 things you could start, which would really make a positive impact in how you feel about yourself and your work.



CONTINUE. What are some things which you enjoy and are good at? Things which you know are enabling you to be successful and effective in your job? This could be dealing with a particular customer; a specific process you follow which has proven time and again to be really effective for you; coaching and developing another member of the team so they can be even more successful in their role. What are some areas you'd hate to give up in your job, because you enjoy them so much? Identify 1 or 2 ways of doing them even more, or even better, so everybody reaps the rewards.

Focused Action:

  • Work through your diary from the previous week and identify at least 1 or 2 actions for you to Stop/Start/Continue
  • Look at your week ahead. Identify how and when you can put these actions into place, so you start to see a positive impact from them by the end of next week
  • Keep a note of what has the best result and do more of it!

POWER up your goals

We've all got goals we're working towards, whether they're work based goals, business goals, or goals within our personal life. However, often these can feel as if they're millstones around our necks. Rather than feeling excited, inspired and motivated to achieve them, we can feel as if the goal we’re working on is something we should do, rather than something we really want to do.

Simply by aligning your goals with POWER can really make the difference that changes your goal from a chore to something so compelling, you're magnetised towards achieving it!

 

 

 

P: POSITIVE

State your goal in positive terms; something you're working towards. Often we language our goals negatively, which creates a sense of something we're running away from, rather than running towards. For example:

"I don't want to be intimidated by my boss anymore" is negative language. You're looking back at something you're trying to get away from. Straight away your whole mindset won't be what you need it to be, in order to propel you forward. Instead, try:

"I want to be more confident and credible when dealing with my boss". This is forward looking and positive.

O: OWN IT!

How much do you really want and own this goal? One simple question can help you determine whether it's the right goal for you. Ask yourself: "On a scale of 1 – 10, how much do I really want to achieve this goal, more than anything else?" If you scored 9 or 10, great! If you scored or less, this goal is not for you. It's simply not grabbing you in the guts, in the heart – or anywhere else! Change the goal for something that really fires you up. If it's a work based goal that's been handed down to you and you can't change it, think about how you could change the way you're currently working on it that would get your juices flowing and start to rise your score from where it is now to a higher score. 

W: WHAT WILL IT…..

….Look like, sound like, feel like, when you achieve this goal? The more senses you can use to create what success looks like to you, the more you'll "feel it in your muscle" and you'll start to look for ways for bringing it to reality. So, what will you be doing when you achieve this? What will others be doing? What will you be saying and feeling when you achieve this? What will you hear others saying and how will they be feeling? Really build your picture of success with as much detail as you can.

E: ECOLOGY 

Ecology is a word to describe how living things interact with and impact one another. So this part of the process looks at the wider implications of you achieving this goal. Are there any downsides to you achieving it? If so, what are they? How likely are they to happen? What can you to overcome/bypass these? One person I was working with recently wanted his directorship within a 12 month period. However, he was travelling a lot with work already and the promotion would definitely mean more. He had to work through this to decide whether the goal was still compelling enough for him to go for it, given the downsides he'd identified. Being aware of these and preparing for them can help to make sure your goal and resolve is really tested for strength.

R: ROUTE and/or RESOURCES

So, what's the very first step you're going to take to move towards this goal? And the next? Plan out your steps as you would with anything else you're completely committed to and put dates next to them. What step can you take TODAY? What resources do you need to help you along the way? Books; training; mentoring; coaching; mindset – identify all the things that will help build your momentum, focus and skill.

Simply making your goals more POWERful can really fire you up so you achieve them bigger, better and faster than you previously thought possible.

Feel the POWER!

Attitude Determines Altitude

I've just spoken at a national conference of a UK organisation, charged with giving a "motivational and inspiring talk" to the teams. Prior to my slot, the audience had been on the receiving end of a variety of talks from key senior members of their company, designed to inform them about the business and the year ahead. 

Every one of them majored on telling the 150 people assembled there that 2011 was going to be tough. Was going to be difficult. Was going to be challenging. As each person said their bit, I saw the audience shuffling, squirming and sinking further down in their chairs.

After almost 3 hours, it was my turn and I talked to them about "Attitude determines Altitude" - i.e. How high you can fly will be a direct result of how high you BELIEVE you can fly.

Okay, the world economy has taken a hit. But we are where we are. If we sit around continually telling people how awful everything is, how challenging everything is – seriously, do you expect people to be inspired by that? To be motivated by that? To be spurred on to take massive, positive action?

There has never been a time when there have been no challenges of one sort or another. But whatever the circumstances, the people who seem to fare best are those who look for ways over, around, underneath or through the obstacles that get in the way of their visions and goals.

First things first, they expect there to be obstacles and challenges, but they're not deterred by them. They're defined by their attitudes which determine to keep focused, keep moving, keep taking action and keep their eye on the overall goal.

What you tell yourself and what you tell others has a powerful effect on how we all approach our day, our work, our relationships, our goals. Is what you're saying inspiring you or others to stretch more, step up more, overcome more, be more? Or is it demoralising them? Is it creating a sense of anticipation, or a sense of despair? Does it make people want to fly – or stay firmly on the ground?

Attitude determines altitude. Just like a pilot has to negotiate flight paths, birds, thermals, turbulence, weather conditions – his or her attitude determines the path of that plane. Whether they have to rise above the turbulence…..or duck down underneath it. They keep their eye and focus on their desired destination, but adjust and work with the obstacles, rather than against them, so they reach their destination on time, intact and safe.

Life is exactly the same. We all have to make adjustments to negotiate the turbulence life can throw at us sometimes. But if we stay focused on our goal, our destination and choose the right attitude, flying high doesn't just become a possibility, it becomes a probability.

So how high do you want to fly?

5 Leadership Practices to Enhance your Life!

I work a lot with Kouzes and Posner's 5 leadership practices, taken from their book and website, "The Leadership Challenge". The reasons I like them are:


a) they've been researched right across the world, so they apply to all cultures



b) they're simple to apply in both work AND life



c) I love the word "practices" – it means that we can all practice them and get better at them!



 

The 5 practices are:


Model the Way - being the best role model you can be. Being someone to look up to; to respect; to admire; clearly demonstrating your own personal values and principles



Inspiring a Shared Vision - having a future goal, idea or vision which you're moving towards and inspiring others to join in with you/support you on the journey



Challenge the Process - having a healthy dissatisfaction with what is. Taking a risk, experimenting with something new, learning new things, moving away from your comfort blanket



Enabling Others to Act - collaborating with others; sharing your expertise and learning from others; giving people what they need in order to thrive



Encourage the Heart - showing belief, faith, trust and support in others, especially when the going is tough. Being an awesome cheerleader. Showing people they can win



As you read through that list, I know that there will have been at least one of the practices which you know is your strength, and I also know that as you were reading, one of them sprang out for you as an area you're currently not so "hot" in.

 

Ideas for Action

  • Identify which of the 5 practices you believe you're strongest in. What are three things you could do this week to capitalize on this strength and make a real, positive difference to yourself, or someone/thing else?

 

  • Identify which of the 5 practices you believe you need to work on the most. What are three things you could do this week (including one thing TODAY) that would make a real, positive difference in this area – and enable you to feel really proud of yourself when you've achieved them?

 

  • In the words of Nike – Just Do It!

 

FREE Your Strengths!

A recent survey asked managers and leaders in work, "How often do you feel really energized in work and by what you do?" 73% of people answered "Once a week."

None of us can win on "once a week" energy! This can lead to people feeling that they're in the wrong job or they've outgrown the role.

But actually, there is not a single job in the world that any of us would love to be doing every minute of our working hours. None of us, no matter how contented we are at work, loves our entire job, because our job doesn't consist of one single activity. It comprises many different activities – some of which stimulate us, some which we can take or leave, and others which completely drain us of our energy and motivation. Given this, holding out for that perfect "dream job" could be viewed as a fool's game.

So our challenge now is to dramatically increase how often we play to our strengths. We need to take our existing work and each week, reshape it around our strengths – even in the face of obstacles from the world around us. Put this discipline into practice each week and we'll gradually, degree by degree, tilt the playing field so that the best of our job becomes most of our job.


 

The following exercise is adapted from Marcus Buckingham's highly acclaimed book: "Now, Put your Strengths to Work”.

Think about the activities which make up your working week. Make a list of all the activities which you consider a strength; which motivate you; excite you; energize you; that make the time simply fly by!

Now you're going to start to look for ways to "FREE" your strengths. FREE stands for:

Focus - Identify how this specific strength helps you in your current role

Release - Find the missed opportunities in your current role

Educate - Learn new skills and techniques to build this strength

Expand - Build your job around this strength

FOCUS

Perhaps now, more than ever, is the time for you to clearly demonstrate – and shout up to those in authority – what your unique strengths are and how they positively contribute to the success of your role. Big yourself up!

RELEASE

Organizations are looking for people to do more with less; be more; contribute more. Whilst this can often feel overwhelming, what if you were to do more of the stuff that energizes and motivates you? How would that be? Take some time to identify where – however small – you could use more of your unique strengths, and if you did – what would the role/team/your boss/the business benefit as a result of you doing so? Sell the benefits!

EDUCATE

Where else can you learn to build this strength even further? Are there any books/websites you could research? Attend a training course? Get some high impact coaching? What could you do to make this strength even more robust – and enjoy doing so? Make your strength watertight!

EXPAND

Once you've developed your strength even further, look at how you could shape your job to better accommodate your strength. That way, you'll feel more motivated because you're doing more of what energizes you and the business benefits, because you're operating at your best and delivering your best, more of the time.

 

Every week, look for 1 or 2 actions that you could take, that will help strengthen your strength – and go do them!

Until next time, enjoy feeding your flame!

Deadline; Delegate; Dump

We've all been there – To Do lists that are becoming epic in their content; Outlook keeps "pinging" at us to remind us about outstanding tasks – and we just change the due date so it leaves us alone(!); meetings, phone calls, conference calls – life can sometimes consume us and leave us feeling overwhelmed and overloaded.

 

Feeling like that is only going to mean that jobs and tasks take longer, which only serve to overwhelm us yet further. But good news! You can do something to regain control. If you take 20 minutes to follow these steps, you will feel better, lighter, focused and re-energised. And if you think you couldn't possibly find 20 minutes, because you're just too busy – ask yourself this question. If your hero (sports star, film star, rock star, etc.) walked into your office right now, you'd find 20 minutes to speak to them, wouldn't you? Course you would! Okay – let's go :P

Step 1. Write down a long list of everything you have to do. Even if you've already got one, two or more different lists on the go, compile them onto ONE list of items that are really pressing.



Step 2. Write down the deadline for each item and the time you believe it will take you to complete it. DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE TIME HERE. Whatever you think it will take – add 10%, in order to cover interruptions, etc. If it takes you less time in the end – great. You've got some time back. But this list needs to be as realistic as we can make it at this stage.



Step 3. You're now going to go through each item on the list and apply the 3D's to each one – Deadline; Delegate; Dump.



DEADLINE - have a look through and see which items you could extend the deadline to. For example, you may have promised your boss that you'd get her some information by the end of the week. Is it honestly going to make a massive difference if she gets it by Wednesday of next week? The truth is – you don't know until you ask. So have a look at any tasks which you feel you could feasibly change the deadline to. Ask the people involved – and give them as much notice as possible. Telling them at the eleventh hour is unlikely to appeal to their best side. The more notice they have, the more likely they are to help you out.



DELEGATE – have a look through the remaining tasks. Which can you delegate out? Even some simple, small things that you can hand out will make you feel better that you don't have to think about them any more. Be creative - you may not actually have a team to delegate to. But you may have a boss, colleagues, family members, your partner, your children….could any of them help out with even one thing? Choose the things that don't need much explaining, but that you can quickly hand over. Making a phone call; finding out some information; collating other information into one place – anything you can delegate, do it.



DUMP – honestly, are there any things on your list for which the optimum time has simply run out? These might be things you planned to do a while ago and have been on your to do list for ages. Because of that – are they really still relevant? Will the world collapse if you don't do them? Identify at least one thing on your list which you can simply dump.



I guarantee this will not take any longer than 20 minutes, no matter how many things are on your list. Going through this process will help you to quickly see what you can to do to regain control of what you have to do. The truth of the matter is – more often than not, we all have more things to do than we have time for. However, it's not about what you've got to do, it's about how you feel about it. So if you want to feel better about what it is you have to do, give your list the 3D's treatment!